![goodbye letter to my addiction goodbye letter to my addiction](https://hips.hearstapps.com/mac.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/50/5487cdec1298e_-_mcx-0110-stopped-having-abortions-lgn.jpg)
You took away my image, piece by piece, and shirt by shirt. You yelled at me in front of the other members of the house. I would have never joined The Farm on my own, but I was told in no uncertain terms, either I complete drug treatment or I serve my time in prison. I was placed in your care by the New York Court System. I was a suburban street kid trying to be someone or something I wasn’t. The truth is I was unwanted anywhere else. I thought I would do my time and get out, but you continued to expose me and I hated you for that as well. I figured if I could con my way through two other facilities, I could con my way through yours. I did like you said I would and I, “Shot for the angles.” I tried to slip through the cracks, but you wouldn’t let me. I hated your rules and your long talks on God. I hated my choices and I hated you for making me aware of them. Weeks into my stay at The Farm, you told me, “Either you do as you are told, or go to jail.” I fought back, but you never gave in. I argued, but you told me to wear a sign that said, “Ask me why I’m a spoiled brat” and then you told me to sit in the corner when I wouldn’t do as I was told. I scrubbed pots and pans I washed dishes and cleaned the bathrooms. You had me up before dawn, swinging pitchforks inside the pigpens and cleaning behind the cows as they gave milk in the barn. “But you’re not going to get over on me,” you said.
![goodbye letter to my addiction goodbye letter to my addiction](https://www.centracare.com/images/patient-stories/sandy2.jpg)
You said, “I was always looking for the angles,” and “I was always looking to get over.” I was not willing to change or give in, but then again, neither were you. I was not ready to give up my addiction and I was even less willing to listen. My eyes were sunken with dark rings beneath them and my ribs poked from the sides of my body.
Goodbye letter to my addiction skin#
I weighed just over 100lbs and my skin was beginning to come back to a natural color.
![goodbye letter to my addiction goodbye letter to my addiction](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-59WzRLLvs_4/UZJ-JKQl-0I/AAAAAAAAAVs/6VYWoQC19pE/w1200-h630-p-k-no-nu/IntensiveFamWeekend.jpg)
So was the attitude and so were scams that come with every wise-ass kid trying to prove himself. I was not sober for very long and the whispering urges were still with me. When I arrived at your facility, I was still shaky at best.